Jaws.

That man could sure eat the hell out of guitar.

While Roger Moore is not my favorite James Bond (for me Sean Connery is and always will be the only real James Bond), Jaws from The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker is one of my favorite Bond henchmen. After watching a little Moonraker I have decided that Jaws’ teeth would be invaluable to me as I attempt to eat my guitar on Saturday October 16th at Bar4.

Finding a dentist that would be willing to transform me into a Bond henchman, however, proved difficult.

“You mean like Grillz?” One confused dentist asked me after I tried to describe what I wanted done.

“No, not like grillz,” I said. “Like monstrous villan teeth that can crush anything. You know, like Jaws from Moonraker.” 

Apparently my dentist was not as big a fan of Mr. Bond’s exploits as I was. I was told to leave immediately. 

Soon, though I will find a crooked dentist who’s down for some action movie inspired mutilation, in the name of the greater good. That greater good being the consumption of my guitar for the entertainment of others. I imagine he or she will work in Chinatown. The search continues.

This hurt my brain a little:

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About Chris Michael

Eating guitars since 2009.
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One Response to Jaws.

  1. Natalie says:

    It’s funnier because I can hear you saying it in my head. Good luck with the guitar eating, can’t wait to witness it.

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